I’ve been in Chile for almost 9 months now, time flies eh? My Spanish level is frankly pathetic for the amount of time that I have been here and everyone keeps telling me that too. “You’ve been here so long, you are learning very, very slowly.” ……Yeah, okay. I get it. I’m mad at myself too but the constant reminders aren’t helping with the learning process, they are just stressing me out even more.
I had a freak out on the weekend because I went to lunch with The Chilean and some of his classmates from his masters program and I literally couldn’t say anything. Have you ever sat in a group of 10 people and couldn’t say a word? It’s very upsetting. Some of the people there speak English but by this time I had worked myself up into a little grief ball of introversion that nothing could break me out of it. I embarrassingly shed a few tears on the patio as well. Maybe they’ll think that it’s some odd gringo custom we have.
That said, I CAN speak Spanish. I speak it (sometimes) with The Chilean and random strangers in taxis, the problem lies with big groups of people. I hate all those people looking at me and I know that they aren’t going to laugh at me but the words don’t come. I think living abroad can do one of two things to a person, make them more outgoing or make them more introverted. I have become the latter. Or maybe it’s not even travel, maybe it’s just growing up that’s making me more introverted and shy.
Whatever it is I need to fix it. It’s driving me nuts.